Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
& a fool at the other.
Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.
Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master.
Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notesof the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through
"the minds of either".
Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece .
Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power ...
Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.
Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.
Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.
Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.
Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."
Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.
Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father :
A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Computer Engineer:
One who gets paid for reading such mails...... !!!
Hope you like them....
Thursday, May 22, 2008
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