Software Career Graph

This is a the career graph of a software engineer .... where do you stand

Corporate Communication 2

Programmer to Team Leader:

"We can't do this proposed project. **CAN NOT**. It will involve a major

design change and no one in our team knows the design of this legacy system.

And above that, nobody in our company knows the language in which this

application has been written. So even if somebody wants to work on it, they

can't. If you ask my personal opinion, the company should never take these

type of projects."

Team Leader to Project Manager :

"This project will involve a design change. Currently, we don't have any

staff that has experience in this type of work. Also, the language is

unfamiliar to us, so we will have to arrange for some training if we take

this project. In my personal opinion, we are not ready to take on a project

of this nature."

Project Manager to 1st Level Manager :

"This project involves a design change in the system and we don't have much

experience in that area. Also, not many people in our company are

appropriately trained for it. In my personal opinion, we might be able to do

the project but we would need more time than usual to complete it."

1st Level Manager to Senior Level Manager :

"This project involves design re-engineering. We have some people who have

worked in this area and others who know the implementation language. So they

can train other people. In my personal opinion we should take this project,

but with caution."

Senior Level Manager to CEO :

"This project will demonstrate to the industry our capabilities in

remodeling the design of a complete legacy system. We have all the necessary

skills and people to execute this project successfully. Some people have

already given in house training in this area to other staff members. In my

personal opinion, we should not let this project slip by us under any

circumstances."

CEO to Client :

"This is the type of project in which our company specializes. We have

executed many projects of the same nature for many large clients. Trust me

when I say that we are the most competent firm in the industry for doing

this kind of work. It is my personal opinion that we can execute this

project successfully and well within the given time frame.

Newton vs Pascal

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven...... ......




They decide to play hide-n-seek. ........


Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den........ ..


He is supposed to count up to 100...and then start searching... ..


Everyone starts hiding except Newton...... ...


Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein... .......


Einstein's counting


1,2,3......97, 98,99.... .100..... ..


He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front....... .


Einstein says "newton's out..newton' s....out. ..."


Newton denies and says i am not out........


He claims that he is not Newton......


All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton ..


Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1 meter square.....


That makes me Newton per meter square..... .




since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal,


Therefore Pascal is OUT......... ..!

Wacky Answers 2

this should have taken real brains and creativity

Wacky Toons 1

Bombay Stock Exchange

customer care call center

lucky by chance

ambiguiess Sarkaar RAJ

this is what you call OVERHEADS and COST Cutting

how to control ATTRITION

the IPL

IPL continues...

Parveeeeezzzzzzzzzzz....

Cricketers Career

Hypocracy

Relaince Energy

Testing vs Development

this is what happens in the real time scenario in IT industries

Wacky Answers

here are some of the best answers given by students ever in the world

another one

ever thought of PHYSICS in this way

best algebra

genius mathematician

keep visiting this series for more forwards

Corporate Communication

this is the best example of corporate communication

Wife is Wife

Wife is a Wife.

A Wife is a Wife, no matter who THE HELL you are!! | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |

Lateral Thinking Questions

Recently a company had participated in IIM's Placement Sessions.

They asked some interesting questions to students during recruitment.

Here are some of them:-

************ ********* **

1. There is one word in the English language that is always pronounced incorrectly. What is it?

********

2. A man gave one son 10 cents and another son was given 15 cents. What time is it?

********

3. A boat has a ladder that has six rungs, each rung is one foot apart. The bottom rung is one foot from the water.

The tide rises at 12 inches every 15minutes. High tide peaks in one hour. When the tide is at it's highest, how many rungs are under water?

********

4. There is a house with four walls. Each wall faces south. There is a window in each wall. A bear walks by one of the windows. What color is the bear?

********

5. Is half of two plus two equal to two or three?

********

6. There is a room. The shutters are blowing in. There is broken glass on the floor. There is water on the floor. You find Sloppy dead on the floor. Who is Sloppy? How did Sloppy die?

********

7. How much dirt would be in a hole 6 feet deep and 6 feet wide that has been dug with a square edged shovel?

********

8. If I were in Hawaii and dropped a bowling ball in a bucket of water which is 45 degrees F, and dropped another ball of the same weight, mass, and size in a bucket at 30 degrees F, both of them at the same time, which ball would hit the bottom of the bucket first?

Same question, but the location is in Canada ?

********

9. What is the significance of the following: The year is 1978, thirty-four minutes past noon on May 6th.

********

10. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in the center field?

********

11. What is it that goes up and goes down but does not move?

********

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1. The word "incorrectly. "

********

2. 1:45. The man gave away a total of 25 cents. He divided it between two people. Therefore, he gave a quarter to two.

********

3. None, the boat rises with the tide. Googly ;-)

********

4. White. If all the walls face south, the house is at the North pole, and the bear, therefore, is a polar bear.

********

5. Three. Well, it seems that it could almost be either, but if you follow the mathematical orders of operation, division is performed before addition.

So... half of two is one. Then add two, and the answer is three.

********

6. Sloppy is a (gold)fish. The wind blew the shutters in, which knocked his goldfish-bowl off the table, and it broke, killing him.

********

7. None. No matter how big a hole is, it's still a hole: the absence of dirt.

********

8. Both questions, same answer: the ball in the bucket of 45 degree F water hits the bottom of the bucket last. Did you think that the water in the 30 degree F bucket is frozen? Think again.

The question said nothing about that bucket having anything in it. Therefore, there is no water (or ice) to slow the ball down...

********

9. The time and month/date/year American style calendar are 12:34, 5/6/78.

********

10. One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.

********

11. The temperature.

********

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Wacky Definitions 1

Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end
& a fool at the other.

Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are
more popular than a five day test.

Marriage :
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
and a woman gains her master.

Divorce :
Future tense of marriage.

Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notesof the lecturer
to the notes of the students without passing through
"the minds of either".

Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody
believes he got the biggest piece .

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated
by feminine water-power ...

Dictionary:
A place where divorce comes before marriage.

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody
disagrees later on.

Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling
you have never felt before.

Classic:
A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.

Experience :
The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life,
to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that
you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway
"See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,
Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father :
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Computer Engineer:
One who gets paid for reading such mails...... !!!


Hope you like them....

Naked Kids

see the beauty of what we call

"Innocence"

do post comments ....